On-line counselling guide

How do you feel about your pregnancy? What do you do next?

Whether your pregnancy was completely unplanned, or whether it was planned but your situation has changed, having mixed feelings about a pregnancy is confusing and stressful.

We hope that this interactive guide, which has been developed by a Marie Stopes International (MSI) counsellor, will help you decide what to do. This guide has been designed to help you understand your feelings; your answers to the questions below will not be seen by anyone apart from you.

It won't tell you whether or not you should have an abortion and it isn't a substitute for talking things over with someone you trust: a partner, close friend, family member, doctor or trained counsellor.

It is a first step in thinking about your choices - something that you can do in a private moment to help you analyse your feelings.

Whatever you decide, there are three things you need to be sure of:

• you have support, someone you can talk to honestly and openly
• you have made the decision yourself, not anyone else
• you have thought ahead

As you read through the questions, click to select what you feel are the most appropriate answers for your situation. Take as long as you need and go back to change an answer if you wish.

1.	Was this a planned pregnancy?
	Yes No
2.	When you discovered you were pregnant, what were your initial feelings? (Click on all boxes all that apply)
	I didn't believe it I knew I didn't want to continue with the pregnancy I was worried about what people would think/say I was pleased I felt happy I felt confused I felt excited I felt angry I felt sad I was horrified
3.	How do you feel now? (Click on all that apply)
	Still happy Still don't want to continue the pregnancy I felt happy initially but now I'm not sure I'm trying not to think about it Worried about how I'll cope I'm still upset
4.	Are you in a relationship at the moment? Which statement best describes your relationship?
	I'm in a long term relationship that I would describe as stable We've not been together very long, but I would describe the relationship as being stable I'm in a long term relationship but it isn't very stable I'm in a short term relationship and it isn't very stable I'm not in a relationship at the moment I have more than one partner
5.	Do you want to have a child with your current partner?
	Yes No Not sure
6.	If no, do you feel OK about having a child on your own?
	Yes No Not sure
7.	Do you feel your family and friends will support you?
	Emotionally? Yes No Not sure
	Practically? Yes No Not sure
	Financially? Yes No Not sure
8.	If you don't have this support, do you feel you can cope with the pregnancy and having a child on your own?
	Yes No Not sure
9.	Do you have someone you can talk to honestly and openly about your situation and how your feeling?
	Yes No Not sure
10.	How do you feel about having a child? (Click on all that apply)
	I feel ready to be a parent I'm looking forward to being a parent I feel I understand what being a parent will involve I have experience of young children (friends or family who have children) Maybe it would be better to postpone having a child until I was more financially secure I would prefer to have a child when I am in a (more) stable relationship I would prefer to postpone having a child until I was at a better point in my career I don't know how I'd cope as a single parent I think I'm too young to have a child I think I'm too old to have a child I'm worried about the effect another child would have on my existing child(ren) I'm worried about the effect having a child will have on my relationship with my partner I'm worried about the effect having a child would have on my emotional state This might be the only chance I have to have a child
11.	How do you feel about having an abortion? (click all that apply)
	My religious beliefs are against abortion Having an abortion is a safe, sensible way to deal with an unplanned pregnancy I really don't want to be pregnant My family (or someone else important to me) is opposed to abortion I'm afraid I may not be able to get pregnant again I don't like the idea of having an operation I'm worried about what will happen during an abortion procedure The thought of having an abortion really scares me I always thought I'd never have an abortion, now I'm not sure I always thought I'd feel ok about an abortion, now it doesn't feel right

If you are mainly concerned about physical aspects of the abortion, click here to download our leaflet: Abortion - your questions answered

12.	Do you and your partner feel the same about you continuing with the pregnancy?
	Yes No
13.	Are you concerned that having a child would make it difficult to form new relationships in the future?
	Yes No
14.	If you continue the pregnancy are you concerned about the effect it will have on your future career?
	Yes No
15.	If you decide to have an abortion, how do you think you will feel afterwards?
	Sad I'll probably try not to think about it I'll feel upset but it will have been the right decision Relieved Guilty Happy Empty Depressed

Post-abortion counselling is also available at MSI.

16.	Do you think having an abortion will affect your relationship? (Click on any that apply)
	I'm worried I'll resent my partner because he didn't want a child I'm worried my partner will resent me because I didn't want a child I'm worried I'll feel angry/resentful towards my partner because he didn't have to go through the actual abortion I don't think it will have a negative effect on our relationship I think the experience will make our relationship stronger Happy Empty Depressed

That is the end of the guide

If you want to go through the questions again and have another think about your answers, please do so - take as long as you need.

When you feel you have thought about all the questions enough, please click the Submit button.